A Mess of a Man Read online

  I angle my desk chair and backup so I can stand with some distance between us.

  “Nothing.” Clearly, I can’t expunge Samantha from my head despite it all. “I should head over.”

  Lisa nods and walks away. I grab my laptop and a thumb drive and head in for the presentation. The small conference room isn’t quite small. It can hold a dozen people comfortably around the table. The Sadlers sit with their backs to the glass wall at one end of the table. Dad, who sits at the opposite end, watches me approach. He raises a brow in question.

  “Sorry I’m late,” I announce as I walk in.

  I turn on the charm Dad insists could sell any used car on the lot. A couple of times, I swear I catch a glimpse of Samantha, but I plow on.

  “Our plan may be a little aggressive, but with no risk there’s little reward. We believe that our strategy of personally watching over your investments will keep you safer than say our big New York corporate competitors. We are only a phone call away, not a call center where someone with a script will try to answer your questions, or a large corporation where you have to jump through several hoops before you get to your broker.”

  My words trail off when I see her. I’m riveted to the view outside the glass. It feels like an eternity since I’ve seen her last. My gaze sweeps over the curve in her top, down a skirt, to her endless legs.

  “… New York is—” Mr. Sadler begins.

  “Beautiful.” The word slips from my mouth before I realized I’ve said it.

  “Huh?” someone murmurs.

  I blink, realizing the word took the fast track from my brain to my lips. The self-destruction button on my brain depresses as I watch Jeff stand twenty feet away talking to Samantha. I know that look on his face, and when she smiles, my vision clouds. I don’t know if I’m happy or pissed at seeing her.

  “If you would excuse me, I need a drink of water. Does anyone need anything?”

  I don’t bother to wait for an answer. I’m out the door as my father’s glare drills into my back.

  Barreling forward, Jeff sees me coming. He holds up his hands in the universal sign of peace while moving a few steps back. I sidestep him determined to reach her. Cupping her elbow, I lead her out of sight of the conference room. Her eyes grow large and I can see the bull I’ve become reflected in their beauty.

  “What are you doing here?” I half whisper, half growl.

  She blinks, a frown curling her smile the other way. “I—”

  “Have you come to apologize?”

  The storm that darkens her expression is immediate.

  “Apologize?” Her one word question is more of an accusation. “For your information, I’m not here to see you. I received an urgent call on Saturday from an admin in your office about an event they want me to handle.

  I need to get my head checked because something about her defiance makes her more attractive than less. Remembering how our calamitous night together ended cools my jets instantly.

  After a lingering pause with our glares locked, I stand up straight and finally say, “Well, by all means, carry on.”

  As much as I’m attracted to her, I don’t have to hedge my bets to know she’s not ready for the likes of me. I need to clear my head of her, so I pivot ready to put distance between us. Her hand lands on my bicep and stops me.

  She graces me with half a smile. “Ben, this isn’t me. I can be the bigger person and not just because it’s possible your company will be a client of mine. The truth is I should apologize for letting that night go as far as it did. It was unfair to you.”

  I shrug as her genuineness takes all the annoyance out of my sails. “You always have a choice,” I say in all sincerity before I dial up the wattage on my smile. “Even if I did get hurt in the process.”

  “Hurt?” The smooth skin across her forehead creases in confusion.

  I see no reason to edit myself. It isn’t like there will ever be an us.

  “Yes. My balls were drawn so tight, they’d turned blue. I blame my lack of functioning brain cells for my unfortunate choice of words before I left. And I, too, need to apologize about that.” I scrub a hand through my hair because this woman makes me feel off balance, off my game. “It was uncalled for.” I lift my hand sheepishly. “Granted, I was pissed because I was hurt.”

  She laughs, granting me more of her sweet smile. “What is it with men like you?”

  “Men like me?”

  “Yes. Men like you who are used to all women falling at your feet and ending the night with some sort of sexual gratification.”

  For a second, I’m confounded by her logic. As I process, I think over all my recent encounters with women.

  “I don’t need sex from every woman I meet,” I say with defiance.

  Her smirk is a delicious challenge. “I’d like to see that day.”

  The smile on her face is wicked with a silent double down dare issued and received. Against my better judgment, my mouth opens and I’m saying shit I wouldn’t normally say.

  “Let me take you out.”

  Her lips part and before she can form any type of rejection on her tongue, I keep talking.

  “Nothing fancy, just something casual between friends. And no sex,” I say with a half-grin. “Just a little makeup dinner. Makeup sex is phenomenal. I’m sure makeup dinner could be good, too.”

  And what the fuck is that all about?

  Her smile blooms and I want to kiss her so bad I have to fist my hands at my sides not to touch her.

  “You, Mr. Rhoades, always seem to know the right things to say.”

  “I think you’ve proven that’s not always the case,” I say with a smirk. “As much as I wouldn’t mind a good debate, I’m probably going to lose my job if I don’t get back to my meeting. I have a client wondering why I left the conference room in a hurry. So you have to agree.”

  “Is this blackmail?”

  “No. But unless you want me to be homeless, you’ll answer quickly.”

  She only hesitates a second longer before she says, “Fine, it’s a date.”

  I reach out and snag her soft hand. The need to touch her is too strong, and I indulge further, kissing her knuckles. “I’ll text you. I hope Saturday night is okay?”

  I don’t wait for an answer, hurrying off to close the Sadler deal. I open the conference room door with a couple of bottles of water and offer them around before I nail the rest of the presentation if their smiles and assurances they plan to sign the contract are any indication.

  A couple of grueling days later, Jeff sweeps in my open door. Sometimes, I long for solid walls. The glass fronts don’t offer any seclusion unless you turn on the privacy feature, which fills the panes with a gas that turn them opaque. It’s kind of cool.

  With his arms raised on either side of him like he scored a touchdown, he says, “I hear the Sadler account is in the bag.”

  I shrug. “The contract isn’t signed, but they spoke as if they were leaning towards going with us.”

  “Then we should celebrate.” He claps as if somehow that seals the deal.

  I haven’t been out since the disastrous night with Samantha, but the last thing I want right now is to go to my empty house.

  “How about poker?” I ask.

  Jeff’s smart which is why he’s on the fast track for a promotion. Between Mark and him, they’re the closest things I have to friends who could maybe fill Drew’s shoes one day. It doesn’t take long for Jeff to see through my suggestion. He points a finger at me. “You’ve been holding out on me. You have something going on with that event planner.”

  I’m not sure how to answer. Our situation is certainly unique.

  “She’s a friend.”

  “Like Karen was a friend?”

  I ignore his comment. “Do you want in on poker or what?”

  He sighs heavily. “Yeah.” He points at me on his way to the door. “You owe me a bottle of Lagavulin.”

  I nod. “Bring Mark.”

  “As if you have to
remind me. The guy needs luck tonight. He can barely buy lunch these days with that ex of his draining him dry.”

  Like everything else these days, I lose big that night. It’s for a good cause because Mark wins. I can’t say for sure whether we let him win or his luck was stellar. Either way, my pockets are lighter.

  Days later, when I pull my Jaguar F-Type in front of Samantha’s house, I wonder for the hundredth time if I’m doing the right thing. Before I can make a decision, she breezes out the door looking as fresh and beautiful as the proverbial girl next door. The kinds of women I’m used to, normally look like girls gone wild when we go out. Yet my body makes its opinion known as every muscle goes taut with need just at the mere sight of her.

  “Hey,” she says, opening the door before I can come out of my head and open it for her.

  “You’re going to get me in trouble with my mother.”

  She shoots me a grin that hits me right in the dick.

  “Why? Because you didn’t walk me to the car like I can’t do it by myself?” The words drawl out of her mouth, feigning shock.

  “I swear, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think my sister sent you as some kind of payback.”

  She pushes her sunglasses to rest on top of her head. Her eyes laser mine. “You have a sister?”

  “I do. A younger sister who acts more like my mother. She’d like you.”

  One flash of her brilliant smile and I’m dumbstruck.

  “Sounds like I’d like her. I’m sure she has lots of stories to tell.”

  I groan for more reasons than one. “You’re never ever going to meet her.”

  “That’s sounds like a challenge.”

  Her smile widens and I shake my head. Tonight I have to channel Drew so I can keep my hands to myself and be the gentleman she doesn’t think I can be. And for some reason I can’t name, it’s important to me.

  “Let me get you to dinner before you start getting ideas.”

  When we reach the marina, Samantha stares out at the car window.

  “You’re okay with taking a boat ride?”

  Startled, she glances over at me. “No.” She shakes her head. “I mean yes. It’s fine.”

  I’d texted her what we were doing, but she seems preoccupied or maybe nervous. That’s proven when she lets me open her door and help her out without any protest. I use my time wisely and check out her white top that’s sheer enough for me to see a yellow bikini top underneath.

  Before my dick can get any ideas, I grab the basket I’d borrowed from Mom from the back. Although I’m a passable cook, I picked up dinner I’d ordered on the way.

  On the way down the docks, she asks, “Did you charter the boat?”

  The wind whips her hair up and she sweeps it behind her ear. The act shouldn’t be sexy as hell, but it is. Before my imagination can take me places she isn’t ready to go, I answer her question.

  “No, we’re taking a ride on my boat.”

  “Your boat. I thought you were practically homeless,” she teases.

  “Thanks to you, I’m not.” I give her a cheeky grin and walk her to my boat slip.

  After setting the basket down, I do all the prelaunch procedures before I untether the boat.

  “I thought we could watch the sunset on Capers Island.”

  Her eyes speak volumes as I watch astonishment then suspicion cross her face.

  “You are sure full of surprises Ben Rhoades.”

  I’m full of a lot of things if you’d let me show you I want to say, but refrain.

  She climbs aboard like a seasoned pro, which doesn’t surprise me. Most people from the area have a boat or have been on one. I finish with the preliminaries and set off. Not too long after, her hand smoothes over my shoulder. I glance up at her and notice she’s taken off her tank, leaving acres of creamy tanned skin and a bikini top that does nothing but make my mouth water. I face forward afraid I’ll do something like pull her in my lap.

  Samantha’s not that kind of girl; her own words haunt me. The devil on my shoulder and the dick in my pants wonder why we’ve given up. I tighten my grip on the wheel if nothing more than to keep my hands off of her. I can do this.

  It’s a blessing and a curse when she leaves me to go sit out in the sun at the back. My mind wanders away from the beautiful woman who’s tempted me in ways I didn’t know existed. Staring at the water ahead as the boat slices through it, I’m reminded of one of the times I took the boat out with Drew.

  The memory unfolds like a letter with words that leap into life.

  Drew is nursing a beer in his hand while I drop anchor. I hand him a pole and he hands me a bottle.

  “Women are confusing,” he blurts.

  “No, they aren’t. They have two switches—on and off. Turn them on, get what you want. Then turn them off and send them on their way.”

  His eyes narrow as if I’ve said something wrong.

  “Dude, your views are seriously twisted.”

  I shake my head. “You’re twisted. Rebecca seriously fucked with your head.”

  He finishes his first beer and grabs another without even casting his line. I guess fishing is off the table. I sigh to myself, putting my pole down and taking his. I’m sad for my best friend.

  Drew’s the romantic of the two of us or so the women have always said. Only one woman at a time has his full attention even if it’s for a short time. He makes them feel special. So much so if he breaks it off, they remain friends.

  “She…” I hate the girl for making him choke on his words. “I loved her.”

  “And she shit all over you. She played games. You should have known from the beginning when she jerked you around before she gave you a fucking taste.”

  He looks at me like I’m the one heartbroken. “One day, you’ll understand.”

  I shake out of the memory not wanting to let grief over take what should be an easy evening with Sam. Being here with her, a woman I know Drew would have approved of, forces me to face his loss because I can’t tell him how conflicted I am over her.

  I try to think of a happier time. I practically spent my high school years on this island. I’ve never brought a woman out here since. So why now? Why her? I shrug off the thought not wanting to analyze why I’m different with her. Or why that thought scares the hell out of me. What was that saying? Once shame on her, twice shame on me. No way do I want to fall in love again and find out what happens a third time.

  I slow the boat to a stop so I can find a place to drop anchor. The tide is high, so it’s perfect timing and my luck holds when the anchor gets a good catch on my first toss.

  The sun is setting, so I pour two glasses of wine and head to where Samantha’s draped over the seat.

  “Wine?”

  Hidden behind blackened shades, I have no idea if her eyes are closed or open. She sits up.

  “Thank you.”

  I’m not sure how to do the no sex thing with a woman outside of Cate, but that’s what I promised her for tonight. The women I’ve dealt with have been as eager as I was to skip the formalities. And right now, I want to take fistfuls of her hair and devour her mouth. But by our guidelines for this date, I’m not allowed to touch her. So, I fold myself in the seat next to her and shift so the wood in my pants doesn’t pierce the fabric.

  “It’s beautiful out here.”

  It’s true, but the view of the woman before me has stolen all my attention.

  “It is.”

  Letting the wine slowly pour down my throat, I watch her out of the corner of my eye.

  I feel collared because I can’t touch her and that irritates the hell out of me. But, I have no one but myself to blame. I shouldn’t have taken the bait from her dare and asked her out here. My boat? What the hell, Ben. Did you really think you wouldn’t want her bent over the rails screaming your name while you pound her from behind? I turn away from the line of her exposed throat wanting to scrape my teeth down it to her breasts. I lick my lips and change the topic to business.

>   “I want you to know I didn’t get you the job at my firm. I had no idea they were planning an event. So you earned that spot on your own.”

  The easygoing curve of her lips taunts me.

  “I gathered by your reaction to me showing up at your office. But it’s nice to know.”

  “You’ve made a name for yourself. That’s got to make you proud.”

  Her smile turns up. “It’s been a hard road, taking on clients that were hard to please, but it’s paid off.”

  “It takes a lot of courage to start your own business from scratch. I envy you.”

  “You work for your family’s firm. There’s pride in that.”

  I swallow some more wine, not sure why I got on this subject. The idea that I’ve crawled back home to work at my dad’s company still bothers me.

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  She turns to face me. “There’s a story there. Are you one of those guys that got roped into the family business but you’d rather be a starving artist?”

  The chuckle that comes out is a surprise. “Not exactly. I wanted to be my own man and not sit in my father’s shadow. But I couldn’t stay in New York. The city pace was too fast for me and no one cares they have to step over the homeless to get to work.” I hold back one of the biggest reasons—I came home because of Drew’s illness.

  “That doesn’t seem fair. I’m sure lots of people care.”

  I nod. “You’re right. It just feels that way. I guess I’m just a small town boy who wants to know the people you run into on the sidewalk.”

  “No, I get it. New York wouldn’t be for me either. I mean, I love to visit. It’s a fascinating place, but like you, I’d miss home too much to move.”

  “So you never dreamed of leaving Charleston for somewhere else?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve dreamed of lots of things. But I enjoy my life here and being close to family.”

  The horizon changes colors from a dusky rose to navy blue. The moment is right and I feel like if I kissed her right now she would let me. Her eyes find mine. Everything is silent except the water lapping at the boat.

  “Ben.”

  She says my name like a prayer and I turn to face her.

  “It’s okay if you want to kiss me.”