Tragically Flawed Read online

  He wondered for a moment how long they could hold out like this, their foreheads pressed together.

  He laced his fingers with hers and gently said, “One of us is going to have to talk so I guess I’ll go first. I know you’re scared. Hell, so am I. I’ve never been down this road before. The only thing I can say is that I hope you don’t run from me, because if you do, I’m just gonna have to chase you down.” Holding her hands in his, rubbing tiny circles over her first knuckles, he took a deep breath. “I don’t want to chase you down, Riv. So please don’t make me. I want you right here, close where I can hold you. I want to be able to reach out my arm in the middle of the night and know you’re next to me. I want to wake up in the morning and see your lovely face. I want to feel your breath against my skin and hear you breathing in my scent. I want you to be here to share dinner with me. I want … God, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I want to take care of you. I want to protect you from anyone who might hurt you. I want to give you all the things you should’ve had when you were young, but never did. I want you to have the fairy tale, Riviera, the one you should’ve had … the one you deserve to have now.”

  No one had ever come close to making Riviera feel cherished, but for the first time in her life, that’s precisely how she felt. Her senses reeled with everything that was Shan. He was in every cell, in her veins, thick in her blood; he’d invaded her body like nothing she’d ever known. She hungered for him, and she would be lying to herself if she said otherwise. Even now, right after the glow had yet to fade, she felt herself aching and growing wet again just thinking about him.

  She pulled his hands to her mouth and kissed them. “I won’t ever run, Shan, and if I do, I’ll warn you before I go. I promise. Hold me tight …”

  “Anything … I’ll do anything for you, Riv.” He knew he spoke the truth. He’d already given her his heart. He’d give her everything he had if she’d ask for it.

  “I’m overwhelmed right now. You’ve touched my heart and I …” She felt a knot in her chest, but at the same time, she wanted to jump for joy.

  “You’re grinning,” he observed.

  “I’m happy. I’m scared, yes, but God, Shan, you make me so damn happy.”

  He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her neck, inhaling everything that was Riviera.

  “I’m happy too. I haven’t felt this happy in a long time. Do you remember the first day we met?”

  “Holy hell, how could I forget? You scared the crap out of me. And then you made me cry.”

  “Oh, babe, I’m so sorry I did that. I was kicking and hating myself for it. But I was so pissed that you woke me up. But then I saw you and I was so attracted to you that I think I developed a severe case of assitis just to make myself think I wasn’t affected by you. What a douchehead. You have no idea how bad I felt about that.”

  “You got pretty nice after the incident with the wall color, though.” She twisted her fingers in his hair while she spoke.

  “Oh God, that was assitis number two. I was such a fuckface. I’m amazed you didn’t walk away from this job and tell me to go fuck myself after day one.”

  “Oh no! I would never have done that. But I thought I was gonna get fired for causing such an uproar. Then the paint color … jeez, I was sure Marsha Sue was gonna find a way to blame all that on me too.”

  Shan hugged her to him. “And after all the hell you went through, here you were, working for the biggest jerk known to man.”

  “Not to mention Marsha Sue.”

  “Please let me make it up to you. Riviera, give me a chance to do that. I want to treat you like a princess … like you deserve to be treated.”

  “Well, I think you’re doing a damn good job of it now,” she smiled.

  “I’m serious. I know you don’t want to drive the Mercedes, but please take that damn car. I worry about you enough as it is. I promise I won’t hold you to anything. Just take the stupid car. It doesn’t mean anything to me. You are more precious to me than a hundred of those things.”

  Shan was getting very worked up over this. Riviera placed her hand on his chest and said, “Listen, Shan, if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll drive the car. It won’t be my fave, but I’ll do it for you.”

  “Thank you.” He kissed her.

  “But I’m only doing it on a temporary basis. When I get enough money, I want to buy my own car.”

  “Fine. Agreed.”

  “Now kiss me so we can get some sleep.”

  Shan stretched out on the bed and pulled her on top of him, pressing a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. She tucked her head into that special place in his neck and sniffed a few times. He chuckled when he heard her.

  “Sniffing again?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Good. Sniff away, babe.”

  And she did until she fell asleep, draped across his chest, like a soft, downy blanket.

  *****

  Riviera felt something tickling her nose and opened her eyes to see Shan’s finger sliding across the tip of it. She was surprised to see herself still wrapped around his chest and snuggled into his neck.

  “Hmm. Did I not even move at all last night?” she said as she lifted her head.

  “I don’t think either of us did.”

  “I hope you were able to sleep?”

  “Like a baby,” he smiled.

  She smiled in return. “Thank God.”

  “You snore.”

  “What?” Her mouth fell opened and Shan took his hand and closed it.

  “It’s really cute.”

  “Cute?”

  “Uh-huh. Cute as hell.”

  “How can snoring be cute?”

  “It’s kind of like a bunny rabbit.”

  She raised her brows and said, “Um, Shan, bunnies don’t snore.”

  “Well, if they did, they would sound like you.”

  “Okay, you can’t be saying stuff like that. It takes away from your manliness.”

  “I don’t give a damn. You’re cute as hell when you snore. And you sound like a bunny rabbit. So whatever.”

  Riviera shook her head. “You’re weird. We better get a move on.”

  “Riv, it’s Saturday.”

  “So? I have work to do in the auction house this morning and I’m supposed to go shopping with Ames later today to get a dress for the auction.”

  Shan looked at her and pouted.

  “I have to get this done. I’m behind as it is.”

  “I know. It’s just that after working like a fiend for so long, now I want some time off and I want to spend it with you.” He grabbed her and flipped her on her back.

  “We will. When I get the auction house done and caught up on my other stuff.”

  “Did I tell you my parents would be there?”

  “Where?”

  “At the auction.”

  “No.”

  “I can’t wait for you to meet them.”

  Riviera fell silent. The truth was, it made her very anxious thinking about meeting Shan’s parents.

  He felt her tense up immediately. “Talk to me, Riv.”

  “What if they hate me?”

  He scrunched up his face. “How could they?”

  She groaned. “Shan, look at me! I am so different than you. I’m sure they’ll look at me and wonder if you’ve lost your mind.”

  “You don’t know my parents. They aren’t like that at all. I promise you’ll love them and they’ll feel the same. Please try not to have any of those preconceived notions about what you may think they’ll be like because they aren’t like that, I swear.”

  She lowered her eyes to his chest and drew a pattern on it with her index finger. “I want to believe you. I do. But I’ve met a lot of rich people, and I think you’re wrong. I’m that other-side-of-the-tracks girl. They’re going to want you to be with some classy lady who went to all the right schools whose parents have right connections. I’m not any of those things. Shan, I was a high school dropout. I was ho
meless for over two years. You know, one of those smelly people who everyone shuns. I was a dumpster diver, for heaven’s sake.”

  “You don’t think I know that? It doesn’t matter to me. What matters is what’s in here,” he placed his hand over her heart. “Do you think I consider you a lesser person because you were poor and had no food or a place to live or because you were abused by fucked-up parents? If you think that, then surely you wouldn’t be here, lying in my arms.” He rolled on his side and pulled her against him. “And I’m a product of my parents’ values, so … you can deduce where this is going.”

  She absently rubbed a tiny circle on his chest, letting his words sink in.

  “Riviera, you’re not beneath them. You’re not beneath anyone. Look at me, please.”

  When she did, all she saw was honesty in his ice-blue eyes that suddenly warmed her all over. Everything shifted for them in that moment. Their breath quickened, their heartbeats thrummed, their bodies heated as their gazes deepened.

  Shan’s voice penetrated Riviera’s heart. “I would never put you in a situation that made you uncomfortable. The last thing I want is for you to feel ill at ease. I love you, Riviera Benson. You may not want to hear this, but I do. I’ve known it for quite a while, so now you know it too. When you care for someone, you don’t do things to intentionally make them feel bad and you don’t place them in difficult situations.”

  Shan wasn’t surprised to see the mask slip in place as her body stiffened. “Don’t do this, Riviera.”

  “Do what?”

  “Come on, babe. You know what I’m talking about. I can see your barriers popping up.”

  “Shan, I …”

  “What? Tell me. I want you to be honest and open with me.”

  “I’m scared.”

  “And you think I’m not?”

  “I don’t know what you are.”

  “You think you’re the only one in the world who’s faced issues and is afraid to put herself out there. Let me tell you something, babe. This thing between us scares the hell out of me too. When Colby died, I never wanted to put myself in a position where I could lose something I held so dear. And what do you know? Here I am, in fucking crazy love with you. So you’re not the only one, sweetheart. This thing between us is so huge, it’s greater than anything you or I can control. You can pretend all you want that it doesn’t exist. You can run and hide from it. But it won’t change the fact that it’s here, growing bigger every day. I’ve done my damnedest to ignore it long enough, but I refuse to anymore. Funny thing is, I think I knew there was something there the first time I saw you. And then that night we went to dinner … well, you blew me away. After I heard your story, I had such a fierce respect for you; I knew my heart could never let go you go. You insinuated yourself into me, and …” he stopped for a moment to gather himself together. He clamped his eyes shut for a second, but when he opened them they targeted hers with intense clarity. She inhaled sharply when the depths of his emotions plowed into her heart, and the pit of her stomach reacted as though it had been compressed. “This isn’t a rash decision or a spur-of-the-moment thing. You and I have known each other for over half a year now. I love the hell out of you, and I intend to show it to you in any way I can. And one more thing—if you even think of running from me, I will follow you and drag your chicken-shit ass straight back to my bed and fuck the hell out of you just to remind you exactly what it is we have together.” Before she could say or do anything, his mouth took possession of hers and he let her know exactly how he felt with every lick, swirl and suck of his lips and tongue. It was a kiss with purpose, intended to show her just how much they had already become embedded in each other. When he finally released her all she could do was stare at him, open-mouthed.

  But Shan wasn’t finished. He moved down her body and spread her legs wide. She shivered when his mouth landed on her clit. Then he sucked her, and not gently either. She cried out his name as her climax crashed into her.

  Her muscles were still twitching when she felt his fingers slip inside of her. She looked down at him as his eyes focused on hers; they were dark and heated with possessive lust. She understood his motives—he was taking from her what he needed right then. But he was also branding her. “I can almost come when I feel how soaked you are, Riv.”

  She was surprised when he suddenly flipped her over and brought her to her knees. “Put your hands on the headboard,” he told her, his voice causing her skin to perk up in goose bumps. She felt his fingers slide up and down her slit and she moaned, wanting more. But she didn’t have to wait long. He pulled her against him and she reveled in the feeling of his muscular thighs behind hers. It was impossible to prevent the gasp from escaping her when he thrust inside of her. Then his arm wrapped around her, his hand splayed across her pelvis, pressing against the place where they were joined. And he slammed into her, hard.

  “Too rough?” His voice was gruff with passion.

  “No.”

  “Do you want me to stop?” he asked as he slammed into again.

  “No!”

  Their skin became damp with sweat as their heat consumed them. “I need you to come, Riv.” He pressed his finger on her as he continued to thrust. And then it happened. He felt her inner muscles clench him, but it kept going on and on and she kept crying out his name. He followed her with his own, amazed at what had just happened. Then Shan grabbed Riviera and pulled her back onto his lap, wrapping her in his arms as he ran his tongue and teeth along her neck. She quivered as he held her, her hands gripping his arms. Riviera knew she had just been marked forever as his.

  “Are you willing to give this up Riviera?” His voice was husky with emotion.

  Riviera’s knew she couldn’t. Her brain registered it and her heart was on board with it. But her guts were like a damn train wreck with the thought of putting her heart on the line and then losing everything to him.

  “You know you’ll always be mine. Stop trying to resist it.”

  Her voice trembled with emotion as she said, “Shan, you have to know how strong my feelings are for you.”

  “I do. I want you to know something else. Before I met you, I was brittle on the inside ... like I was one day away from cracking. Riviera, you've managed to put me back together and make me feel like I'm supposed to feel. You've softened me up and made me right again ... taken all that anger away.” He turned her head and kissed her. “So just remember, this is a two way street, okay?”

  She nodded, “Okay. And Shan, even though I'm not as brave as you, I do care deeply for you.” She kissed him back.

  “Come on.” He lifted her off of him.

  “Where are we going?” she wanted to know.

  “To take a shower. You have to get a move on if you’re going to paint. And we both need some coffee.”

  “I can do a shower and coffee.” When she noticed his naughty grin, she knew she was in for more than just a shower. He was going to show her exactly how much she was his and how there was no way in hell she would ever walk away from him.

  An hour later, as they were headed to the house, Shan mentioned to Riviera, “When the auction is over, and you’re caught up on your work and you have a team hired and up and running, I want us to go away somewhere together. Take a romantic vacation.”

  Riviera snickered.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “That was a lot of ‘ands.’”

  “Huh?”

  “Well, there was the auction, getting caught up, hiring a team, and then getting them up and running!”

  “Oh yeah. I guess so.”

  “I just hope it doesn’t take very long.”

  “It won’t. I’ll get Janet on it and it won’t take long at all. She’s a great screener so your first step will be taken care of.”

  “I've never interviewed anyone. I don't know the first thing about it.”

  “Don't worry. I can help with that, especially with the designers. I want you to focus on the painters. Janet has already placed s
ome ads so we should be getting some hits on those in the next week.”

  “I need to make sure I knock out the auction house this weekend then so I stay caught up on my work. With these interviews, I don't want to fall behind.”

  “Honey, don't worry. I'll help you. I'm a great interviewer and they won't take long, you'll see.”

  “Ok, Shan, I'll let you handle that then. And thanks. It seems like I keep getting more indebted to you every day.”

  Shan laughed. “That's part of my plan, babe.”

  Riviera knew he was kidding, but a small part of her worried about his comment nonetheless.

  Chapter Twenty

  Shop Till You Drop

  As Riviera cleaned her brushes, she gave Amie a call to let her know she’d be picking her up in about thirty minutes. When she walked in the door, Amie was all questions.

  “Wait a sec. I gotta change and then you can ask me anything you want.”

  She hurried to her closet and slipped into clean jeans and a black top. Sitting on her bed, she wriggled her feet into her cowboy boots, and then ran out to get Amie.

  “Let’s go.”

  When they walked into the parking lot, Amie let out a long whistle.

  “So, you finally decided to dump the four-banger rust bucket and drive this hunk of money, huh?”

  “Ames! Damn, girl. Can’t I do anything without a comment like that shooting out of your mouth?”

  “Hell no! Come on, Riv! Look at it! This thing costs more than my house. Seriously. Now tell it all. What’s going on with you two?”

  “Jeez. I get no peace from The Young and the Nosy!”

  “And you wouldn’t be asking the same of me?”

  “Okay, okay. He’s in love with me. And I think I’m in love too.”

  “That’s it? I already knew that. Who the hell wouldn’t be in love with Shan?”

  “No, Ames. I really think I. Am. In. Love.”

  “Whoa! Like in love, in love? Like, did you tell him?”

  Riviera ducked her head a bit and mumbled, “I’m scared.”

  “Fuck me silly. Did he tell you?”

  “He’s the one who said it. But I didn’t say it back.”