Cruel & Beautiful Read online

  “Cate.” He calls out again. My name rolls off his tongue and sounds husky. “Are you sure?”

  I rub my sweaty palms on my jeans. “About us? This? Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything. I’m just a little nervous, if you want the truth. And it’s me I’m unsure of, not being with you.”

  He reaches out, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Don’t be. I fall asleep thinking of you and wake up doing the same. You have nothing to fear, I promise.”

  Glancing down at the floor, I stare at his bare feet. He must’ve taken his shoes off while I was in the bathroom. I shake my hands because for whatever reason, they tingle. “Drew, don’t say that. Remember dickwad?” I cross, uncross, then cross my arms again.

  He puts his hands on them, stopping my repeated motions. “Hey, I want you in the here and now. Not with him.” His eyes have darkened. Is it with anger?

  “It’s not that I’m with him. It’s that I’m unsure of my ability to …” This is awkward.

  He shuts me up with a kiss. And it’s not just any kiss. His hands are on either side of my face as his tongue pushes through the seam of my lips. He pulls me against him as he deepens the kiss. He goes for broke here and succeeds. Everything I worry about flies out the window as my arms wind around his waist. I pull him into me and moan. When he lets me go I protest.

  “I want you to undress me and then I want to do the same to you. Is that okay?”

  I nod.

  My hands shake as they pull at his shirt. Their clumsy movements succeed, with his help, in freeing him. I run my hands over the rigid muscles of his torso, across his hips and down to the waist of his jeans. I’m all thumbs, so he has to assist with the zipper and button. Getting his pants off isn’t that difficult. Maybe I’m losing my anxiety or my coordination is returning. My eyes drop down and I can’t help but notice the erection straining against his boxers. It shocks me so that I immediately look away. He smiles.

  “I think I’ve lived in this state since we met. You only have yourself to blame.”

  I don’t really know how to answer that so I do nothing except stare. He picks my hands up, covers them with his, and we both finish the task of removing his boxers. It’s difficult not to ogle what blatantly juts out in front of me. I can’t help but touch him. I’ve always thought cocks were weird looking appendages. Hell, so are vaginas, for that matter. But take a cock for instance. I’ve seen pictures of them when they’re soft, and they’re funky looking things with a sack attached behind them. And when they’re hard, some of them curve, or are super skinny or whatever. Drew’s cock is what I would call perfect. Not too big and not too little, but if a cock can be called pretty, his is.

  He interrupts my cock-thoughts. His thumb and forefinger grab my chin and tip it so I’m forced to look at him. “Now it’s my turn.”

  My palms, which are still sweaty, need a wipe on my jeans, but I don’t want to give that away. He knows I’m edgy. Hell, he can probably hear my damn heart race. It sounds like a freaking jackhammer to me.

  He pulls my sweater over my head and stares at me in my bra. Then he sits on the bed and opens his thighs. Pulling me between them, he unbuttons my jeans. Now I stand in bra and panties only. Good thing I took off my socks and shoes in the bathroom.

  “Your skin is perfect.” He runs his fingers from my neck to the top of my panties. “Unhook your bra for me, please.” I do as he asks and watch his face. His eyes roam my body but I thought they’d zero in on my breasts. They do for a moment, but then ultimately land on my own eyes. “You undo me, Cate.”

  His finger moves to the top of my lace panties. He runs along the top, but doesn’t dip any further than that yet. “Is this okay?”

  “Yes.” My voice is unsteady and I don’t sound like myself.

  “You look sexy enough to eat and I’m going to eat you, Cate.”

  “I know. I want you to.”

  “I’m going to take your panties off now.” He pushes them down my legs and I nervously step out of them. Then he takes my hands and places them on his shoulders. A fleeting thought about how smooth and tidy Louise looks pops in my mind. But it’s gone with his next words. “Spread your legs for me. And by the way, your pussy looks beautiful all smooth, but I would have liked it any way.”

  When he touches me I want to cry out but I watch in fascination. I bite my lips because I don’t want to make a fool out of myself. A hot wave sweeps into my belly as he strokes me back and forth and then rubs me in a circular motion. I’m sure I’m dripping. Now I know why he put my hands on his shoulders. When he stops, I cry out. “No!”

  “Shh, hang on.” He lifts me and sets me back down on the bed. At first I don’t understand why, but what he does next gives me my answer. He spreads my legs and his mouth teases the inside of first one, and then the other thigh. “I’ve been dying to do this. I want to hear my name when you come, Cate. I want to have your taste on my tongue when you come for me for the first time.”

  Oh, god. When his tongue trips over my nub, I almost scream. And here I thought his fingers were awesome. What the hell did I know? Louise is going to do a happy dance. But the thing that grabs my heart the most is when his eyes seek out mine over the skyline of my body. His lids flutter as though I’m the finest delicacy on Earth. He hums against my skin and I’m transfixed by the fact that he derives as much pleasure from this as I do.

  I’m jolted out of my trance when he adds a finger and hits that mystical g-spot all my friends talk about. He presses and rubs it as his tongue continues to dance circles around that tiny bundle of nerves and I feel everything tightening, tensing. My arms stretch wide as I clench the comforter between my fingers. I can feel every breath he exhales across my flesh and it only heightens where he licks and sucks. And then it happens. It starts in the arches of my feet and spreads up my legs, fanning out across my body. My first Drew-gasm.

  “Oh god, Drew, Drew, Drew.” It’s all I can think or say as I come all over his mouth and hand. And it’s extraordinary. My hands move to grasp his hair and I’m unaware of anything as my world narrows down to the intensity of my climax.

  When it finally ceases, my fingers still fist his hair. I release it as soon as I come to my senses. Poor guy. And he never said a word about it.

  “Wow. That was … did they teach you that in medical school?”

  He shakes his head, chuckling. “No, we didn’t have an Oral Sex elective. But Cate, you were beautiful.” He crawls up and lies next to me, resting his weight on his elbow. A hand travels up and down the curves of my body. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.” He pauses and stares at me with so much reverence I’m almost afraid of what he might say. “I know I already asked you this. But are you sure you’re ready for this? Say the word and we don’t have to go any further.”

  I don’t have to think about it at all. I’ve been ready to lose my V card since dickwad. He just didn’t get the job done and until I met Drew, the right one hadn’t come along. I’m not sure where this relationship will go. But I know he will make this experience something I’ll want to remember, not forget.

  “Yes, I’m ready. I want you, Drew. Now. Please.” And I do.

  He reaches in his nightstand and comes out with a condom. I watch him roll it down his shaft and it’s hot. Totally hot.

  “Can I do that next time?”

  He grins. “Absolutely.” Turning serious again, he asks, “Would you like to be on top or bottom? Top will give you more control and could possibly make it better for you.”

  A case of extreme self-consciousness attacks me so I try to hide my nakedness with my arms. Top is way too exposing for me. How could I possibly do that? “I-I can’t be on top,” I sputter.

  He pins me with his eyes. A hand covers mine and he loosens the near death grip I have on my arm. When his fingers lace with mine, he gently tugs, and my arm relaxes. “You don’t have to be on top, Cate. It was just a thought. I want this to be as good as it can get.” He moves over me, hovering, and rest
s on his forearms. “If I haven’t told you this, you are so beautiful, lying here with me. Being with you, like this, has consumed me. I know this may suck for you, but let me know if you want me to stop at any time. I’ll go slow, but there’s no getting around the hurt.”

  I put my hand on his cheek. “Drew, I’m not worried about the pain. It was a little awkward for me being naked, you know…” I trail off. “Let’s just get it over with.” My stomach’s knotted with anticipation but I want this first time to be behind us already.

  His eyes droop. “I don’t want this to be like that.”

  I immediately regret my words. “That came out all wrong. I just want the painful part to be over with.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you at all.”

  “But you might not be able to help it.”

  His hand moves between us and he rubs me a bit. Then he pushes himself in my opening. A little at a time he enters me, and then he stops. His forehead creases as he strains to hold himself in check. I can tell it’s difficult for him.

  I want to get to the good part, but I know this part has to happen first. I’ve heard friends talk about it. So I’m as prepared as I’m going to be. “You know the Nike slogan?”

  He looks at me like I’m nuts. “Yeah, why?”

  “Just do it, Drew.”

  His mouth curves up.

  “Go on,” I urge.

  One hand reaches under me and I already see the apology in his eyes. And then he thrusts. No, it’s more like a serious ram. Once, twice and then he’s in. And holy motherfucker it stings like fire. He stills and I know it’s because I’ve turned into marble. Frozen in time. I can’t move. I just want to lie there until the pain goes away. He makes all these little calming noises, but I don’t hear them for a second or two. I bite my lips to keep from howling. But then the pain eases off and after another minute or two or three, it finally slips away. I slowly come back to my senses.

  “Deep breath, sweetheart. Come on. Just one,” he says.

  I breathe. And my body relaxes. I do it again and I feel better and better.

  Then I notice he’s rubbing my face, my forehead, and pressing tiny kisses all over me.

  “You better?” he asks.

  “Yeah. I am. Do you think you can move?” When he starts to roll off of me, I stop him by grabbing his face and I smile. “No, not that kind of move. I mean move inside of me.”

  “You’re sure?” he asks tentatively.

  Still smiling, I say, “I’m very sure.”

  His lips skim mine. “You don’t hurt?”

  “Not now.”

  He starts to test the waters. And while I have to say I’m not completely pain free, it’s more soreness than actual pain. So I tell him.

  “Thank god. I was afraid I’d really hurt you.”

  I shake my head. “I’m good. For a minute there, it wasn’t great, but now, I’m fine.”

  Slowly he increases his pace until he moves in earnest. He lifts his body a little, but only enough to slide his arm between us. Then I feel his fingers on my clit and everything intensifies. Throughout all this, I can’t help but watch him. Even though the sensations I’m experiencing are awesome, observing him is a sensuous journey in itself and I respond to that, too. Before long, I am caught up in everything—Drew, the sounds he makes, the way he looks and feels against my skin and inside of me, and the way he reacts to me. And before I know what’s happening, I’m tumbling, falling as I orgasm and he calls out my name as he follows.

  My hands are molded to his ass and I didn’t even know I’d put them there. I release the pressure on them and smooth my hands over his cheeks, then I roam up the wide sea of his back. His muscles tense beneath my fingers but my eyes dig into his, bright blue with deeper striations. They remind me of the ocean on a clear spring day. “Kiss me, Drew.”

  He does, beginning at one corner of my mouth, playing with my upper and lower lip. His tongue darts in and out of my mouth. He’s an artful kisser, doing all sorts of lovely things with his tongue. All of a sudden he rolls over and I’m on top.

  “I want you this way, next time. I want to see you ride me, Cate. With your head thrown back and your hair tumbling all over the place. Tell me I didn’t hurt you too much. I know you already said it, but I need to hear it again.” He takes my hand and kisses each fingertip.

  “At first it stung more than hurt, and then it went away. But then … I had an amazing orgasm.”

  “I could tell. I felt it when you came.”

  “You did?” This fascinates the hell out of me. “Tell me.”

  “You squeezed me. In sequences. Like a song keeping tempo.” What a nice way to put it.

  I’m riding on a post sex high and I love how I don’t feel awkward with Drew like I did with the dickwad. It feels so good that I can just be honest about how I feel.

  “I love the way you sound when you come.” I’m sure my face is pink when I say this.

  “Hmmm. Then I’ll have to come more often, won’t I?”

  He makes me feel empowered that I could get him there. Still, I’m a bit shy when I say, “I suppose so.”

  “But right now, I need to pull out of you and get rid of this condom, even though it’s the last thing I want to do.”

  “Right. I guess it’s the smart thing to do.” I shimmy off him and let him up. And I miss him immediately. I hear the toilet flush and the water running. Then he’s back with a smile, a glass, and something in the other hand.

  “What’s this?”

  “Ibuprofen. I don’t want you to be sore.”

  “Thanks.” I swallow the pills.

  He pulls me back on top of him. “I’d like to make you come again and again, but I don’t want you to be any more sore than you already are.”

  “I think you’re making a bigger deal out of this than is necessary.”

  “No, I’m not. Besides, I have to get up early for my shift.” He rubs my back and I purr.

  “Okay, I’ll give you a pass then.”

  “Cate, you need to go use the restroom.”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  “No, sweetheart, you do.”

  Lifting my head so I can look at him, I ask, “Why’s that?”

  He cups my cheek and says, “For a couple of reasons. One, it’s a great idea to do that after sex. It prevents bladder infections. I could give you my professional explanation, but I don’t think you need that right now. And two, when you get to the bathroom, you’ll see why.”

  And then it hits me. Blood. Fuck! How embarrassing. He sees my reaction and says, “Don’t you dare be embarrassed by this. It was beautiful and amazing and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Now go before I take you myself.”

  Scrambling out of the bed, I scurry into the bathroom and when I look at my thighs, I screech. In less than a few seconds, the door busts open and he’s in there with me.

  “Can I just tell you something? A little blood goes a long way. What looks like a whole lot on you there, is only a little bit. Calm down and why don’t we get in the shower?”

  I shake my head and say, “Okay. But let me use the bathroom first and then put my hair up.”

  He walks out and I use the facilities. Then I call him back in and he enters while I’m twisting my hair up in an elastic.

  He turns on the shower and when the temperature is right, we get in. He squirts some shower gel in his hands and rubs them together. “May I?”

  “Yes.” How can I say no?

  Before I know what’s happening, he spins me around and pulls me back against him. “You’re so gorgeous, Cate.” Then, soapy hands dip between my thighs and gently wash me. He slides them all over and back between us, all around to make sure all the blood is washed away. Then he turns me back around and lets the shower rinse the suds away. He lathers up again and washes the rest of my body.

  When he’s finished, I say, “My turn.” I mimic everything he did. It’s kind of funny because when his back is to me, he’s so much taller than I am, I f
eel like a little kid. But my hands reach around and take hold of his erect cock. His arms stretch out to brace himself on the wall. I work the lather all around him, and he moans. This may turn into something way more than a shower. As I turn him back around, the look on his face has me moaning, too.

  “Drew.”

  “Cate.”

  “I want you.”

  “No. You’ll hurt too much tomorrow.”

  “I should be the judge of that. Not you.”

  “Not in here. No condoms.”

  I look up at him, and then down at his erection. My mind is made up. I drop to my knees and put my mouth on him. He’s large, but not ridiculously huge like you read about in those romance novels. His cock doesn’t jut out and reach his chest, meaning it’s not eighteen inches long. No, thank god. I would run screaming from this shower if it did. But it is large and thick. Just perfectly pretty. A nice tawny shade with a lovely mushroom cap on top. And he feels like velvet.

  Blow jobs are not my specialty. In fact, I’ve only ever given a couple. So I decide to stop and tell him if I’m doing something wrong, he needs to tell me. Or if there’s something he wants me to do, to tell me that, too.

  “Just put your pretty mouth on me, Cate, and lick and suck. And leave the teeth out of it. Well maybe a little bit of teeth.”

  With his erection back in my mouth, I do what I think I would like if I were a man. Apparently, I’m right. Because he thrusts his pelvis forward to meet my rhythm and starts talking.

  “Oh god, Cate. So damn good.”

  My tongue decides to take a trip down cock road. So it roams from base to tip, up down, up down. Faster, faster and then I put the whole thing in my mouth, sucking until I take it all and he sucks air in through his teeth. Then he makes this groaning sound and I decide to play with his balls. I squeeze, like I’m pumping, but softly, gently. And he starts calling out my name again.

  “Cate, Cate, Cate, Catelyn. Catelyn.” The last time he says it really long and drawn out. Then he tries to back away from me. “I’m gonna come.”

  Isn’t that the point? Why is he backing away?

  “Catelynnnnnnn!” And he comes. “Ah, ah, ah,” he repeats. Guys really do love their head.