Cruel & Beautiful Page 4

  We drink and dance some more. And I have way too much fun. So much fun that Drew practically has to drag me out of there. Luckily he drove his car to the Union parking garage after dinner and we walked to Chuckie’s from there. Now we have to walk home. I love being with this man. I don’t want the night to end. And I tell him.

  “This is the best date I’ve ever been on.”

  “And to think you called me gramps.” His elbow nudges me.

  “Who knew gramps was so sexy?”

  It’s late September and the night has gotten chilly. My arms hug my middle, and Drew’s arm is draped over my shoulder. But I want more. I want both arms to be around me and I want to taste him. So my devious mind goes to work, and I pretend to stumble on an imaginary something or other. It works beautifully. He reaches for me, hands on my hips, to stabilize me, and we stand facing each other. My arms circle his neck and he dips his head until our lips graze against each other’s. It’s not enough for me. I want more of Drew McKnight. I want all of Drew McKnight. But I’m not the most experienced so I let him lead.

  He leans back and whispers, “Tell me this is okay.”

  “It’s way more than okay.”

  His mouth presses to mine, tentatively at first, testing the waters. His lips, which are soft yet firm, nip at mine, and then his tongue peeks out. He runs it along my bottom lip and I open my mouth. Suddenly, we’re kissing. Aggressively kissing. He pulls my body up against his, arms wrap tightly around me, his head slants, and the kiss deepens. He explores my mouth as his body presses fully against mine. I feel his hardness and strength through the thin fabric of my dress. My body becomes a live wire—goosebumps erupt from my neck to my ankles; my belly clenches; my nipples stiffen; and for the first time in my life, I get wet. From a kiss. Holy sexy hell.

  We’re moving. Drew lifts me up and we’re moving as we kiss. I’m not sure where, and I don’t care, as long as he doesn’t stop kissing me. When my back hits something, we stop. Every time he takes a breath, he nips my lips, making me want more. Then one hand slides down to my hip and squeezes as he grasps me tighter, pressing me to his body. He jerks his mouth away from mine.

  “Fuck. Cate. Catelyn. Cate, Cate, Cate.” A litany of Cates.

  Then his mouth is back on mine for only a second and I moan in protest when he pulls away. The thought occurs to me that this is more than a mere kiss. My body tingles and my knees are weak. My fingers sink into his shoulders so I don’t crash to the sidewalk. This is something poems are written about and erotic novels are penned over. I am wet between my thighs and the only things he’s touched other than my face are my mouth and hip. Once more his lips find mine and passionately kiss me, tongue sliding against mine, turning my stomach into a knotted frenzy and making my head spin. This time when he stops, it takes me a second to collect myself.

  “Come to my room with me. Please. We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I swear. I just want to hold you. And stare at you. And wake up with you. And maybe I sound like some pussy whipped bitch, but I’m not ready to send you home.”

  My brows must hit my hairline and I giggle. Only because I’m drunk—drunk on his kisses. I hate giggly girls, but the idea of him being a pussy whipped bitch makes me die laughing.

  “Yes. Okay, I’ll come. But I won’t fuck you,” I blurt out.

  “No. No fucking at all. Not one tiny little bit of fucking. I solemnly swear. Scout’s honor. God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

  This man is perfect. He’s like my dream guy. And to think I almost didn’t go out with him! I wasn’t looking for this but what a huge mistake that would’ve been. He links our hands and we walk back to his room. I hope this is real and not the alcohol making me feel this way. I stop for a second and pinch my arm.

  “What’s wrong? Did a bug bite you?”

  “No. I only wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.” And in an instant, his arms wrap around me, his mouth hovering over mine.

  “You’re not dreaming, Cate. This is the real deal.” And he kisses me again, stealing every bit of my air away. When he finally breaks the kiss off, I run my fingers over his lips.

  I shake my head to clear my thoughts. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Why I didn’t jump at the chance to go out with you? What the hell was wrong with me?” Then I realize I’m sounding stupid and I’ve said the words out loud. I need to shut my mouth before I scare the poor man away.

  “That’s why I had that goal, Cate.”

  “I have a confession to make,” I say, as we start walking again.

  “Yeah?”

  “I tripped on purpose. I wanted an excuse to touch you.”

  He stops, and faces me.

  “Seriously?”

  I nod and he kisses me again. “I knew when I saw you at that party, we were going to click.” Soon, the Union looms in front of us and I’m suddenly nervous. What if we get naked? Oh, no! I haven’t done any muffin-scaping. No shaving or waxing. Nada! I look like an overgrown grizzly down below. Oh fuck! What am I going to do? This is so unexpected; I never imagined we’d get past dinner! Maybe I can sneak into the bathroom and use his razor. But then I look at his face and remember he’s sporting a bit of scruff, so I doubt he even brought one for the night. Shit-doodle.

  “What is it? Please don’t say you’re having second thoughts. I promise Cate, we can just sit and talk. I only want to spend time with you.”

  “I know. I trust you, Drew.” And oddly enough, I do.

  As my thoughts travel back to the possibilities, it comes to me. I can say I don’t get naked ever on first dates. Yes. That’s it. Perfectly reasonable and acceptable. We make it to his room and he asks if I care for something to drink. I ask for a water. In minutes, one is in my hand, which I greedily drink.

  The way he stares at me, I’m guessing he knows I’m nervous.

  “You have regrets, don’t you?”

  I shake my head. “It’s not that.”

  “Please tell me. I don’t want anything to weigh on your mind.”

  My stupid, stupid mouth blurts right out, “I look like an overgrown grizzly below the waist.”

  “Huh?”

  I suppose being a man, he just doesn’t understand. So I raise my index finger and then aim it directly between my thighs.

  It’s obvious when the light bulb goes on because he smiles. Hugely. “It’s fine. I didn’t plan on us getting naked, anyway.”

  Okay, so I just told him my deepest darkest most humiliating secret—well almost most humiliating—for nothing? I embarrassed myself to death, for no purpose whatsoever? I want to crawl in a hole and die. I do the only thing I know. I grab the nearest pillow and bury my face in it. The most beautiful man I’ve ever met, with the most gorgeous eyes on the planet, sits before me, and I just told him that my muffin looks like Sasquatch. This goes down as the most humiliating moment of my life, replacing the dickwad. I will never live this down. Ever.

  LIVELY MUSIC AND MY LIVELIER coworkers, fill the lounge. But I see and hear none of it. I stare into the mirror on the back of the bar wondering whose reflection I see. I barely recognize the woman staring back at me with the vacant eyes. Drew… Andy is here in town. It’s been three days since I saw him and I can’t get him out of my head.

  “Cate, you’re too quiet. This is a celebration. We’ve completed the Caine account. Maybe now we can sleep for more than four hours a night.” Daniel grins and puts a tumbler to his lips. “At least until our meeting next Monday to discuss our next project.”

  He laughs at his own joke as Mandy strolls over with two drinks in her hand. She leans down to whisper in my ear. “I’m not sure what’s going on with you tonight, but you will celebrate.”

  I take the proffered drink feeling like a daisy downer. She lifts up her glass and my team of coworkers all raise their glasses. Not wanting to be the odd man out, I do the same and plaster a smile on my face.

  “To us an
d especially Cate. Without her last minute save we all might be in the office reworking the project,” Mandy announces.

  “To Cate,” everyone toasts.

  “To the team,” I counter. “There’s no I in team. We all put in the hours and we all will, hopefully, reap the rewards.”

  “Here, here!” comes a chorus of cheers.

  I have no idea if we will get bonuses for completing the job on time other than the day off we were given. Still, a girl can hope. I toss back the shot with no idea what kind of liquor it is.

  The burn hits my throat and I feel the cinnamon taste not only in my mouth, but in the tears that form in my eyes. It’s a Fireball! When my eyes pop out of my head, Mandy thumps my back as if I were choking. I keep my mouth closed for fear I will breathe out fire like a dragon.

  “It’ll put hair on your chest,” Mandy chirps. Her honey brown curls bounce as if she’s unable to contain all the energy she has inside her. “At least that’s what Dad told my brothers when they had their first taste of alcohol.”

  “I’m pretty sure my esophagus will never be the same,” I croak.

  “Here. Have another?”

  My expression freezes as I give her a you’re crazy stare. “You’re kidding me, right? Or maybe you’re just trying to poison me.”

  She tosses her head back and barks out a belly laugh. “Cate, I swear we love you. I know you’re worried because you’re the newest member of the team and you might feel as though we’re intimidated that you pulled this one out of the crapper. But honestly, everyone is happy you’re here. Happy clients mean we all have jobs. So take another for the team.”

  She’s right. No one has ever made me feel unwanted at work. Worry has clouded my thoughts. What she doesn’t know is that it’s Drew, or rather Andy, that has me rattled. Seeing him after all this time brings to the surface so many regrets.

  I pick up the shot and this time I’m ready for it. I clink her glass and chant, “To the team,” before I drink it down.

  Mandy’s sly glance at me makes me suspicious. “There is one other thing you should know.”

  “What’s that?” I dab at my eyes, hoping the moisture the Fireball caused doesn’t mess up my makeup.

  “Daniel has a crush on you.”

  While I almost choke, Mandy’s gaze remains steady on me.

  “You like him?” I ask, confused.

  “No.” She violently shakes her head. “It’s just—he’s sweet. But super cute,” she amends. “And I’ve known him forever and I feel sort of protective over him. So don’t break his heart.”

  She taps my shoulder before she walks away and I blink rapidly, unsure of what just happened.

  “Hey.” I glance up and Daniel stands before me. “Mind if I sit with you?”

  “Sure.” I shrug, trying not to let Mandy’s comments make things weird between us. Still, I’m nervous about what he’s about to say. I take the last of the shooters and drink it. He smiles but sighs and I watch as he gears himself up to say something.

  “Take another shot with me.” The words burst out of me because I don’t want to have to turn him down. Mandy’s right about one thing. He’s cute in that nerdy superhero way. With his dark hair and black-framed glasses, I have to wonder if he has on a blue and red leotard under his suit. Or maybe that’s the alcohol talking. Before he can answer though, I order another two rounds. The drinks start to go down easier, especially after the fifth one.

  I’ve managed to stave off any dating topics and only traded smiles. I thwart any opportunity on his part to speak by shouting toasts to everyone, from our boss to the janitors in the building. But now I’ve run out of excuses.

  “Cate, I was wondering—”

  The music stops and Mandy’s voice booms out of the speakers.

  “Cate! Where are you, girl?”

  Feeling unsteady myself, I can still tell she’s been drinking much more than I have because her words are slurred.

  “Wait, that’s me,” I say pointing to myself. I frown when I notice it’s harder for me to communicate than it should have been.

  “Cate, Catieeee, come sing with me,” Mandy croons.

  The crowd begins to chant my name and I glance up at Daniel. My eyes feel heavy. Yet, this is the escape I’ve been searching for.

  “I gotta go. But I’ll see you later.”

  I sway a little when I get to my feet and Daniel’s hands are there to steady me. In fact, he helps me navigate the crowd.

  “You have nice hands and nice teeth. I like a man with good teeth,” I absently say.

  Daniel shakes his head. “Be careful up there, Catie,” he teases as helps me up on stage and it feels like old times. I think of Jenna and I miss her terribly. She is planning a visit and what will I tell her about Drew… I mean Andy. That’s going to take a bit of getting used to.

  Mandy is cracking up before the song even comes on. When the popular tune begins, I know the song automatically. I sling an arm over my friend as we begin to sing enthusiastically. Daniel is our only coworker who managed to snag a spot up front. With lights bearing down on us, I have no one I know to focus on and I end up serenading Daniel so my semi-embarrassment won’t cause me to puke. Unfortunately, the song Mandy picked isn’t quite the message I’d wanted to send. The crowd’s enthusiasm urges me on.

  I know I just met you,

  And this is crazy,

  But here’s my number,

  So call me maybe!

  Sometime after karaoke and a few more rounds of shots, I’ve forgotten the mess I’m creating. Daniel is by my side the whole time encouraging me not to drink but not stopping me either. By the time we make it out of the bar, we’re hot and sweaty. Daniel is flagging us a cab while trying to keep Mandy and me on our feet. The frigid air should have been a balm, yet I can barely put one step in front of another.

  “Catie, I’m so glad you moved here,” Mandy slurs. “The office was so dull until you showed up.” We finally stumble to a stop near the curb.

  I place my arms on her shoulders needing her to focus on me as I tell her how I feel because feelings are important. “I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t met you. It’s a cruel, cruel world but you’re the happiest person I’ve ever met. And I need happy. You’re my bestest friend, but don’t tell my best friend I said that. Jenna’s not normally a jealous person, but don’t piss that girl off. She’s a scrapper.”

  Mandy nods because she gets me. “I promise I won’t tell. We can be secret bosom buddies.”

  We hug until Daniel breaks it up. I want to tell him that even though I’m not into him, I’m not into girls either. His voice interrupts my swirling thoughts. Now, I’m no longer sure what was so important for me to say.

  Daniel and his four doppelgangers steady us. “Come on ladies, be careful of the snow and ice.”

  I feel like I’m on a ship. “The boat is rocking. I think we might capsize. Where are our life vests?”

  “Cate.”

  That voice, I know it. I spin and the world tilts.

  “It’s the Titanic all over again,” I call out as I fall forward.

  I never reach bottom. “Thank god for the life vest,” I mutter. I feel it tight around me.

  “Cate,” the voice says again.

  “Drew.” I shake my head. “No, it’s An— Andy now,” I slur. “Not Drew, can’t call you that. It’s Andy.”

  Daniel comes into view and I’m not sure if Andy is there or not or if I’m only hearing voices.

  “It’s okay. I can take her off your hands. I’ll get her home,” Daniel says.

  Somehow I regain my feet but my vision continues to swirl. Damn four-inch heels aren’t doing me any favors.

  “I like those heels,” Mandy responds and I realize I’ve spoken out loud.

  When I’m steady, I glance up into piercing blue eyes. I feel the arctic air they bring. Andy. I give myself a thumbs up for remembering his new name.

  “You’re really here.”

  I notice his s
teadying hand at the small of my back. I start to melt into him and lean up to press my lips to his when I catch sight of two guys behind him. I wave because it’s only polite. As wasted as I am, I don’t want to embarrass Andy in front of his friends or colleagues.

  “Catie, you can stop waving now.” Mandy is by my side and conspiratorially whispers only to me. By the smirks on the guys’ faces, they must have super human hearing abilities. “Who are these handsome guys? Have you been holding out on me?”

  “Cate, Mandy, I have a cab. We should go now.” Daniel sounds way too sober. Mandy and I turn to face him.

  “Don’t be such a Clark Kent,” I say to him over my shoulder.

  When I glance to Andy, his back is turned to me. I can’t hear what he’s saying. When he turns around, I’m struck by just how goddamn good looking he is.

  I hear Mandy introduce herself and the guys speak but my gaze is locked with Andy’s.

  “Cate.” I blink a few times, only now putting it together that Andy was talking to me.

  The two good looking guys wave a quick goodbye and walk away.

  I chance speaking. “You didn’t have to let them go. Superman man here,” I hook a thumb in Daniel’s direction, “is going to save the day and take us home.”