Death Waltz Page 12

  “We are not finished with this conversation. If you are with child, you cannot have it. Think, Liasare. The timing. What would Abaddon do if he found out? He will use it against you. Add to that, approximately ninety percent of Praestani women die after childbirth.”

  “So, are you telling me to get rid of it? Because that will never happen. Not in a millennia.” She shoved him aside and went back to the bed. Annnnnnnd ... then she heard the destruction. She wasn’t sure what he was destroying, but most likely it was the entire bathroom. And she could not have cared less. She only knew that if she was indeed pregnant, the child was a living being, that had been created out of their love for each other and there was no way anyone, including the devil himself, was going to force her into getting rid of the little mite.

  Eventually she curled up on her side in the bed and drifted to sleep. That’s how Jurek found her when he left what remained of their bathroom. They would have to move to the sanctuary until it could be repaired. It was unusable as it was. He looked at Liasare and didn’t know what to do. She lay there in the fetal position, hugging her belly, protecting it from everything. Her tear-stained cheeks made him feel like a shit, yet he knew he couldn’t go through a pregnancy with her, not knowing if she’d survive the baby’s first few days of life. He’d barely made it through Larensa’s and Stellan’s deaths. His feelings for Liasare ran so much deeper than what he’d ever felt for his first mate, Larensa. How could he ever survive her death? He knew in his mind he couldn’t. How could he make Liasare understand this? And then throw in the whole Abaddon issue and now its fucking shit storm. Why the fuck hadn’t he thought about her getting pregnant. Where had his brains gone? What the hell had he been thinking? He reached out his hand to smooth her hair off her face and quickly pulled it back, not wanting to wake her. He could feel her emotional turmoil. It’s not like she didn’t have enough to contend with. Now throw this into the mix. Bloody hell!

  He needed to pull himself together and the only place that ever did it for him was the sanctuary. He flashed there and headed for the hills behind the waterfalls. There was a small clearing up there where he used to come and meditate. Back when his emotions were all over the place, it was one of the few places where he felt balanced. He needed that balance right now. There were so many things pouring through his mind right now, he wanted to tear his hair out. He knew he’d never make Liasare understand his point on this. Moments later he flashed to the planet Vesturon.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jurek paced in front of his friend’s home. It was early, but he needed to talk. He didn’t want to wait any longer so he entered his home, and waited in the front hall. He knew one of the servants would come and see who had broken through their security.

  A few minutes later, not only a servant, but Xarrid teleported into the front vestibule.

  “What the bloody hell is going on? Did something happen?” Xarrid asked.

  “Not in the way you mean. I need to talk. On a personal matter.”

  Xarrid checked out his friend and said, “Come on. Let’s go out back.”

  Jurek followed him through the expanse of the house until they reached a back door, which led them to a terrace. It reminded Jurek of his own at the sanctuary.

  He smirked when he said to his friend, “This looks familiar.”

  “I knew you’d think so. Saylan fell in love with the terrace at the sanctuary and insisted we have one just like it when we built our own home. So what’s up?”

  “I need your oath you’ll keep this to yourself.”

  “You have it.”

  “Liasare may be pregnant.”

  Xarrid smiled and began to congratulate Jurek, until he said, “I want her to end the pregnancy.”

  Xarrid paled. “You don’t want it?”

  “More than anything. Other than losing Liasare and I couldn’t live without her.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’ll explain. Praestani women have difficult births and when our children are born, their powers manifest such that the children cannot control them. So, in other words, the baby reverts to its purest form of energy, and they are extremely strong. The mother tries to do what mothers do and unfortunately, the baby usually destroys her. I lived through it once with Larensa. I can’t do it with Liasare. Our bond is beyond anything that has ever existed, Xarrid. If she dies, I die. That simple.”

  “Bloody hell. Is this a solid thing? That it will happen this way? I mean you’re here.”

  “My mother died a day after my birth. This is the reason our species is dying off.”

  Xarrid could only stare at his friend. He knew Jurek’s first mate had died, along with his son, but Jurek wasn’t the kind of guy who exposed his inner feelings about things. At the time when he told Xarrid about his past, Xarrid was dealing with his own demons in trying to get Saylan back from the Xanthians, so he doubted he would’ve remembered anyway.

  “Given what you’ve just told me, I can certainly understand your hesitation here. You are up against a pretty big wall. You know Liasare won’t give up a child if she’s pregnant. Think of it in her terms. I can’t even begin to imagine what Saylan would’ve done had I asked her to do such a thing.”

  Jurek’s hands plowed through his hair. “I know! That’s what’s so fucked up about all of this. I don’t want to have to make her do this.”

  “Jurek, you can’t make her do anything. If you so much as try, you lose either way.”

  The Praestani whipped his head around so fast, Xarrid wondered how the damn thing stayed attached to his body. “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “Exactly what you think it does. There’ll be no forcing her to do anything. Forcing her to give up a young is worse than taking her life. You’ll lose her for sure that way. You’re facing a no win situation, my friend.”

  “Bloody fucking hell.”

  “Is there any chance at all she’s not with child?”

  Jurek shook his head. “No. I felt its presence. And I’m sure she does too. She already has the increased heat that Praestani women get.”

  “Why don’t you have January check her out?”

  “What good will that do?” Jurek asked. “Praestani don’t get ill.”

  “You’re just going to have to accept this then. Or you risk losing her. There’s nothing else for you to do. Women are fierce, Jurek. And when it comes to protecting their young, you’d better be damned prepared to face your most dangerous opponent.”

  ***

  When Liasare woke up, she was alone. The nausea nailed her again. She was afraid to move because she didn’t want to start vomiting all over. Her body was at least a hundred and twenty degrees. She wondered if she was coming down with something. Maybe she had the flu. Being that she was half human, that was a possibility. If this wasn’t the flu and only the pregnancy, she hoped like hell she didn’t feel like this for the duration. If so, this bed was going to be her best buddy.

  Unfortunately, her wish of being able to stay still didn’t last and the queasiness had her scrambling for the commode. What she encountered shocked her. The bathroom was in utter shambles. At least the toilet was functional, thank heavens, or she would’ve thrown up in the wastebasket. The cracked marble flooring cut into her knees as she fell to the floor, but she didn’t notice that until later. After she was finished, she realized the sinks, tub and shower had been torn apart so there wasn’t a way for her to wash her face or brush her teeth. Flashing to the sanctuary was her only option.

  Once there, she drank glass after glass of water to quench her raging thirst. Huge mistake. It all came back up like a damn volcano. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this awful. She was so damn thirsty, so she decided to sip on some water. But it was nearly impossible. The urge to guzzle it down again was so potent, she found herself doing exactly that before she could stop herself.

  “What the hell is wrong with me?” she asked herself, as she hung her head over the toilet. By late afternoon, Jurek still hadn’
t shown up and she was so weak, she couldn’t even get herself back to the bed. And tired. Weary couldn’t come close to describing how she felt. And so fucking hot. Her mouth was parched to the point even her lips had cracked. But every time she tried to put something in her stomach, it rebelled and came back out in retaliation.

  Throughout the day she called out for Jurek, but he never came. Knowing he was that angry razored her deeply, but she couldn’t even muster up the energy to get too disheartened over it. All she knew was that something was terribly wrong with her. And that she urgently needed his help. But he wasn’t coming. He left and wasn’t returning until god knew when. It was odd how she felt her energy seeping out of her, almost as if someone were draining her life away. That was her last conscious thought before everything turned to black.

  ***

  Jurek left Xarrid and headed to Earth. He needed to get his head on straight before he went back and faced off with Liasare. He new damn good and well he was in for a battle of the wills and he wasn’t sure how he would handle it. Blowing off steam down at the headquarters on Earth might be the better thing to do, he thought. Besides, he was long over due in checking on things down here, so this was his perfect excuse.

  Several of his men flew to their feet when they saw him enter the room. After receiving their updates, he asked for volunteers to spar with. The men eyed each other, for Jurek’s reputation, as a dominant fighter was well known. Eventually one of the men came forward.

  “I’ll take you on, my lord.”

  “And what is your name?” Jurek asked.

  “I am Faxon.”

  “Very good, Faxon. You know, I ask you to hold nothing back.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  The other men eyed Faxon, some of them shaking their heads. Jurek wasn’t exactly known as a mild mannered individual. That Faxon had volunteered for this made them wonder about his sanity.

  Faxon matched Jurek in stature. Both men were tall and muscular, though Faxon’s fair hair contrasted sharply to that of Jurek’s long black mane, which was tied back in a thin strand of leather.

  The two men moved to the center of the room and the others surrounded them.

  “The rules are no powers are to be used. That’s it. This is pure fighting. Clear?” Jurek asked.

  Faxon nodded his agreement. And so they began. Had a human been observing this display of physical combat, it would’ve been close to impossible for the eye to track their rapid movements. Both men were evenly matched as far as skills with their fists went. Jurek, however, upstaged Faxon when it came to leg strength and speed. Not only was he able to avoid many hits because of it, he was also able to strike faster than Faxon. Though the match gave Jurek a way to work out his frustrations, in the end, there had never been any doubt who would be the victor. For his part, Faxon held his own and Jurek appreciated that he was brave enough to step forward and take on the challenge of a good fight.

  The two men clapped each other on the back and Jurek headed for his personal quarters to shower. When he was finished, he took care of some business and got caught up on everything that had been happening down there. His team hadn’t had much luck on locating the Dark Creatures, but was still working on it. Club Down seemed to be the center of activity, but the men thought their presence was detected because whenever they went there, any trace of the darkness was gone. Jurek realized Abaddon wouldn’t take any action until he and Liasare showed themselves back on Earth.

  The time was getting late on Praestan and Jurek knew he was stalling. He needed to return and face Liasare. He truly didn’t know what he would say to her. There would be serious words between them and he best prepare himself. The longer he stayed away, the worse it would be.

  Flashing back to their quarters, he found the room to be dark and all the lights off. When he turned them on, Liasare wasn’t there. He peeked into the mess of their bathroom and called out to Brinna. When she appeared, he asked where Liasare was.

  “I’m sorry, my lord, I thought she was with you. I haven’t seen her all day.”

  Jurek felt a coldness descend upon him. Sending out his powers in search of hers, he located a dim response in the sanctuary. What he found brought him to his knees. Liasare was on the floor in the bathroom, burning up and unconscious.

  “Bloody fuck. Liasare, can you hear me?” When he received no answer, he called out to Naroo.

  “Oh, dear gods. What happened?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve been gone and this is how I found her just now. She’s on fire, Naroo.”

  Jurek picked her up and carried her to the bed. Liasare’s eyes fluttered open and she tried to speak but it was impossible.

  “My lord, if you don’t mind me asking, is she with child?”

  “Yes. We just figured that out last night.”

  “She has the pregnancy fever. The fetus’ power is causing her body temperature to rise. She needs to drink.”

  “Sick,” Liasare rasped.

  “What, love?”

  “Tried to drink. Sick.” She was so weak she could barely eke out the words.

  “What can we do, Naroo?”

  “She needs to sip on hot fluids.”

  “Brinna!” Jurek shouted.

  Brinna appeared and Naroo instructed her on what Liasare needed to have immediately. Brinna left and was back minutes later with a tray bearing hot tea with lemon and honey, and lemon-laced warm water.

  Naroo spooned the tea between Liasare’s parched lips, a little at a time. Though it was a slow process, Liasare was able to keep it in her stomach. When she finished with the tea, Naroo started on the warm lemon water. When that was finished, they wanted to know how she was coming along.

  “Better, I think,” she mumbled.

  Naroo stood and told Jurek to give Liasare constant fluids in small amounts, until her stomach was no longer sickly feeling. When her body temperature was regulated, she should be fine. Then she left.

  Jurek rotated his achy shoulders and turned to face his mate. She was curled in the bed holding that damn cup of tea to her chest like it was her lifeline. Why had he stayed away so long? What the hell would’ve happened to her if he hadn’t returned when he did? His skin vibrated with the anger he had for himself, but he held it in check. That was the last thing both of them needed now; he didn’t need to go psycho on her.

  Then her heard her. Her voice was weakened and cracked when she spoke, but it was like thunder in his ears and heart.

  “I called out to you all day, but you never came. I cried out for your help, but you didn’t answer me. Are you that angry with me that you didn’t even want to help me?”

  “No! I didn’t know. I wasn’t here Liasare.” He rushed to her side and went to hold her but she recoiled from him. “I would never have left had I known you needed me.”

  When she lifted her head and looked at him, the pain and sorrow in her eyes made him flinch. “Why did you leave Praestan?”

  He squeezed his eyes shut against the sight of her sitting there. It was a knife slicing into his heart and he wanted to make the pain go away. But he knew it wouldn’t.

  “I went to speak with Xarrid.”

  “Xarrid? Why?”

  “Because I needed to talk to someone about you. About the pregnancy.”

  He heard, rather than saw her inhale. Deep. “You told him?”

  “Yes.”

  “How could you? We haven’t even had a chance to ...” Her hands clasped the mug of tea and her knuckles looked like they were going to pop through her skin.

  “It unnerved me and I needed to discuss it with someone. I trust him not to say anything.”

  “That’s not the point. You went to him before you came to me. That’s the point.” Her lips trembled and she fought like hell not to cry. It wasn’t working though. She felt like she’d been put through the super spin cycle of an old fashioned washer from her days back on Earth. Everything was all jumbled up ... her head, her stomach, her body temperature. And the poor little smidgen inside
of her probably was wondering what the fuck was going on.

  Jurek was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do. What he wanted most she wouldn’t let him. So he stood next to the bed like a big lug, not knowing how else to help.

  “Would you like to take a bath?” he asked, thinking that might help her.

  “What? We’re in the middle of a major discussion and you want to know if I want to take a bath? What the hell is wrong with you?” She had abandoned all hopes of stemming her tears and they were running down her cheeks like the waterfall right outside their door. She slashed her hand across her face, smearing them up, making big snorting noises in the process. She tried to breathe and a very large unattractive snot bubble formed at the end of her nose, which made her cry even harder.

  Jurek, seeing her dilemma, wanted to laugh but knew better. He went to the bathroom and returned with a handful of tissues, which she gladly accepted.

  She blew her nose in an unladylike manner, and then looked up at him. “Do you or do you not want this Smidgen.”

  “What?”

  “Our little Smidgen. Do you want it?”

  Bloody fuck, she’s already calling it something.

  “Of course I want it. But I want you more. Above and beyond anything that exists or will ever exist in the future. You are everything to me. My heart that beats, my lungs that breathe, and my soul that gives me life. If you die, I die. It’s that simple, Liasare. And I don’t want anything to put you at risk.”

  She broke down and cried again. This time he wouldn’t allow her to push him away. He pulled her onto his lap and rocked her until her cries softened into little mewls.

  Then he told her, “I have never been so afraid of anything in my life before this very moment. I’m afraid of losing you. And nothing, Liasare, nothing is worth that to me, including little Smudgey.”

  “It’s Smidgen, not Smudgey,” she wailed.

  Everything about her life had always been complicated, she thought. For once, why couldn’t things work out smoothly? Why couldn’t she and Jurek have been together five years or so, put all this Abaddon shit behind them, and then have her get pregnant? Why, for once in her stupid messed up life, couldn’t things be easy? And why the fuck couldn’t he at least get Smidgen’s name right?